I particularly like the guy grabbing a nap in the shade.....I mean, why not, eh?
Mr Rudd, as an internationally renowned Sino-Phobe I figure you to be the national authority on all things China.
Therefore I respectfully ask for an explanation for the following:
- Why don’t Chinese toddlers have a seat in their pants? Bare bums regardless of cuteness are an eyesore.
- As part of your cultural awareness training is there advice on where to look when the kid in front of you on a bus gets his willy out, stands in the aisle and places said willy into an empty coke bottle held by his Dad? Looking down doesn’t work because you look like you’re frowning at all of the wee dancing out of the bottle and onto the floor.
- Does the saying “Chinese Bladder” have a medical background? Are 2 toilet stops really necessary on a 3.5 hour bus ride (and note that small boy still used the coke bottle receptical twice on the same journey)
- If public toilets aren’t close is the street gutter the next best, most hygienic option?
- Why do people assume we know Mandarin – and when they discover we don’t, why do they continue to talk to us in Mandarin…….really fast and loud?
- Why are there so many Hummers, Mercedes’ and Range Rovers in a rural based, Communist society?
- Which smells worst: rotting cabbage or rotting turnip? (The answer to this will likely assist in answering the next question).
- What gives the drain in my hotel room(s) the distinctly unpleasant odour?
- Are there plans in Canberra to fill the fountains with goldfish and then allow people (for a small fee) to catch them?
- If sat closer than 5 metres from a stranger, what is an acceptable length of time to stare at them for - would 4 minutes be excessive?
- Would it be appropriate for AusAid to sponsor a Chinese web-site correction facility? Yes it would be incredibly manpower intensive but it may go some way to helping me understand what this means: “your world in the bed will take prestigious harmony of love for this food and room is ten and better then you can travel wait. Only staff on clouds of day can they lift down your shoulder.”??
- When on a freeway and confronted with a truck overtaking another truck in the 2 lanes ahead, is it appropriate to move off the freeway and up the gutter in order to maintain momentum – noting that momentum is a healthy 100km/h – or should brakes be applied?
- Which of the following are not spittoons – tiled floors, footpaths, bus aisles or ash trays? Yeah I know it is a trick question, I just put it in to check you’re doing this yourself and not relying on your staff to help me out!
- Is it still classed as a sunny day if there are no clouds but you can’t see the sun (or across the street for that matter) due to "other" air particulates?
I respectfully thank you for your time and I appreciate your candid commentary. Most importantly thank you for visiting our Everyday Hero page and donating so generously to C.M.R.I. Make sure you twitter your good deed and maybe remind people that donations are tax deductible – the end of the Financial Year is fast approaching.
Therefore I respectfully ask for an explanation for the following:
- Why don’t Chinese toddlers have a seat in their pants? Bare bums regardless of cuteness are an eyesore.
- As part of your cultural awareness training is there advice on where to look when the kid in front of you on a bus gets his willy out, stands in the aisle and places said willy into an empty coke bottle held by his Dad? Looking down doesn’t work because you look like you’re frowning at all of the wee dancing out of the bottle and onto the floor.
- Does the saying “Chinese Bladder” have a medical background? Are 2 toilet stops really necessary on a 3.5 hour bus ride (and note that small boy still used the coke bottle receptical twice on the same journey)
- If public toilets aren’t close is the street gutter the next best, most hygienic option?
- Why do people assume we know Mandarin – and when they discover we don’t, why do they continue to talk to us in Mandarin…….really fast and loud?
- Why are there so many Hummers, Mercedes’ and Range Rovers in a rural based, Communist society?
- Which smells worst: rotting cabbage or rotting turnip? (The answer to this will likely assist in answering the next question).
- What gives the drain in my hotel room(s) the distinctly unpleasant odour?
- Are there plans in Canberra to fill the fountains with goldfish and then allow people (for a small fee) to catch them?
- If sat closer than 5 metres from a stranger, what is an acceptable length of time to stare at them for - would 4 minutes be excessive?
- Would it be appropriate for AusAid to sponsor a Chinese web-site correction facility? Yes it would be incredibly manpower intensive but it may go some way to helping me understand what this means: “your world in the bed will take prestigious harmony of love for this food and room is ten and better then you can travel wait. Only staff on clouds of day can they lift down your shoulder.”??
- When on a freeway and confronted with a truck overtaking another truck in the 2 lanes ahead, is it appropriate to move off the freeway and up the gutter in order to maintain momentum – noting that momentum is a healthy 100km/h – or should brakes be applied?
- Which of the following are not spittoons – tiled floors, footpaths, bus aisles or ash trays? Yeah I know it is a trick question, I just put it in to check you’re doing this yourself and not relying on your staff to help me out!
- Is it still classed as a sunny day if there are no clouds but you can’t see the sun (or across the street for that matter) due to "other" air particulates?
I respectfully thank you for your time and I appreciate your candid commentary. Most importantly thank you for visiting our Everyday Hero page and donating so generously to C.M.R.I. Make sure you twitter your good deed and maybe remind people that donations are tax deductible – the end of the Financial Year is fast approaching.
A very cool sculpture being put to good use
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